Thursday, July 30, 2009

pool-side chat

I had a chance to talk with a couple friends at the pool a few days ago. They and their husbands had read my blog and were interested in the other side of the coin--HOW HUSBANDS CAN ALSO HELP GUARD OUR MARRIAGES. We had a great conversation. So here are my thoughts:

Women are RESPONDERS. We usually respond to our husbands. That means that if our men treat us with respect and love, good things follow. If women feel unappreciated, unattractive, and unimportant they most likely will react to that as well. Should we be wonderful wives, responding positively even if we are not getting all we need to fill us up? Probably, but in many cases, that is not going to happen. Men, if you want your wife to be a happy woman, who is concerned about your desires, takes care of herself, is peaceful and loves you as you grow old, then treat her with respect. Tell her she is absolutely beautiful and make her feel secure by letting her know she is the only woman for you.

HAVE FUN. Women are grown up girls. We still like to have fun. Men, invest in fun, make her laugh; and she will remember why she fell in love with you. :)

Pray. God can do amazing things. He is in the business of restoring relationships and giving us an abundant married life!

Monday, July 27, 2009

pillow case obsession

It is so good to be back in town! (Now I can blog a little more regularly :)

I do a crazy thing when I travel. I love a clean pillow case,
so I layer my pillow with 3 or 4 pillow cases.
When I feel like one gets a little dirty, I peel it off and have a fresh one underneath!

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

guarding our marriages

I read about a lady on an airplane who asked the guy next to her if he was dieting. He had chosen not to eat. He responded that he was a satanist and was fasting for the fall of Christian leaders. I have never known a time when so many godly people seem to have lost their vision, their passion and their purpose. This is not by accident. A pastor's wife friend of mine is going through a very difficult time, as her husband recently had an affair.

I read Beth Moore's book, When Godly People Do Ungodly Things. It is a great book. I have more recently, though, been personally made aware of so many people who are being completely attacked morally. I feel the need to address this, as it is something that we do not hear enough about. How as women can we guard our marriages in a world that seeks to destroy the foundation of the family? Here are some bullet point thoughts:

We have to be very purposeful. We cannot be unaware. We must be confident women who seek after God with all of our hearts and ask Him daily for wisdom. We must be women who find our significance and security in Jesus Christ so that, rather than being needy and draining, we are filling ourselves up with Christ each day and are free to give to our husbands. That can be very attractive!

Someone thinks that your husband is about the hottest thing they have ever seen. Whoever she is, she may be desperate for attention. Women are looking for someone to compliment them and listen to them. Some women would do anything it takes for a man like yours. Yet I look at exhausted women who have allowed themselves to become completely spent throughout the day to the point that they have nothing more to give to their husbands. So many times, our husbands get the worst of us. Maybe we are giving to the kids or the church or our jobs and we don't have enough left. SAVE SOME OF YOUR FUN SELF, AND MAKE YOUR MAN GLAD HE HAS YOU TO COME HOME TO. Other women are competing for your man, and if you don't think so, you are mistaken. Be INVITING, and keep those home fires burning.

You may be thinking, "She can have him. He's not that great anymore!" Men often times become what we tell them they are. Make your husband your project, and work to make your marriage fun and exciting. Many people who read this blog are ministry wives. If you ever want to talk about this further, feel free to leave your email address on the comments and write confidential. I know that there are a lot of hurting women out there and many ministry marriages on the rocks. You are not alone and there is hope for you!!!

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

great vacation / stolen computer

My blogging took an unfortunate break when our computer was stolen on vacation! Our car window was smashed and many electronics were stolen! Although it was inconvenient, we are so glad that it was just STUFF that was swiped and WE were all fine!

Vacation was GREAT. Since we now have a high schooler and a middle schooler, we realize more than ever that our summers together are limited. If there are things we want to do while the boys are growing up, we better do them NOW :) Those thoughts led us to a day in Washington DC! From there, we met up with my parents in Baltimore for an Orioles/Red Sox game. After the game, we drove to New Jersey where Brian was a youth pastor years ago. We enjoyed the "shore" with friends. We drove to NY City for 24 hours of non-stop tourism including fireworks over the Hudson River. We are thankful for Brian's time off as we try to relax a little now, after a busy and fun-filled week.